Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
