You just made me feel so damn special
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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