I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize