Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
