I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
