Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
