Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
