It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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