carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
