May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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