drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Randomize
