you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i think i just lost a toe
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
