That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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