Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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