I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
