Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
