So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
