It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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