So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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