we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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