I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
