Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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