she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
