Your mouth is God's brothel.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
