I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You don't make any sense
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