I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
