stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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