Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
