are you still at the devil's house?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
