the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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