we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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