My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
