Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
