I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
