yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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