ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
