hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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