I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
