im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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