Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
