Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
