Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
