If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
