i can't believe i had my finger in that
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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