porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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