Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
