So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
