? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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