I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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