Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
