i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
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im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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