We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
