Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
