Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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