Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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