I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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