Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
